Saying Goodbye

I am back in Kathmandu now and I am heartbroken. I love my brothers so much that it honestly physically hurts and now I am apart from them.
I had been in Charikot for TWICE as long a I had planned on staying. As much as I didn't want to leave Charikot, it was time for me to go. Gauri Shankar has become my home. I have become so comfortable there, too comfortable. I need to see new parts of Nepal and continue to push myself towards new experiences. Leaving was the right thing for me to do, but it was not the easy thing.
Saturday morning we walked into town to pick up a few things. Seeing that we had come before breakfast, our wonderful friend at Hob Nob restaurant demanded that we stay and let her cook us food. She fixed a beautiful meal (which of course she would not let us pay for), and we enjoyed being together one last time.

On Saturday night, my last night with the boys, we had a party: cake, coke, and balloons. Uncle also held a meeting where all of the boys expressed their feelings to Meaghan and I. I didn't cry but it was hard not to tear up when the boys' eyes got watery during their speeches. It was so sad but also joyful.
That night, so many of the boys sat outside with Meaghan and I much past their bedtime. It was nice just to talk and joke; no one wanted to go to bed and waste our last night together. When we would start to get sad, the boys were so sweet to comfort us. I have honestly never met such sweet, beautiful people.
Eventually Uncle made the boys go to bed, but sometime later, as we were packing, a few of the boys snuck out to knock on our window and tell us goodnight once again.

Sunday morning, Meaghan and I woke up early at 5:00 so we could tell the boys goodmorning as soon as they got up. The first boy up was Birjung, and we asked him what time he was going to school (usual class 10 starts at 6am). "I'm not going early today because I am staying to say goodbye to you," he said. It took everything inside of me to hold back my tears. I held them off for another hour, until Auntie started weeping and then I couldn't help myself. We just hugged and she gave me a beautiful journal. I never expected such a gift!
Uncle also told us that he was sad. He said, "I feel the way a father feels when his daughter gets married and leaves the home." I think that is one of the sweetest things ever.
Meaghan and I walked to the bus park in Charikot with all the boys who were walking to school. I walked the whole way holding hands with my brother. I never imagined that 15 year old boys were capable of such sweetness and love. I was talking and joking but also I was sad. All my brothers kept telling me, "Dont cry Ellen! If you cry then we will cry!" So I tried to stay strong.
Before getting on the bus, I gave them all such tight hugs and so many kisses. To add a bit of humor, a white foreign trekking couple had just gotten off of a bus an were watching us as though we were crazy for hugging and kissing so many Nepali boys.
When the bus started moving, I thought I was safe from the boys and I couldn't stop the tears. But I WASNT safe! The boys had followed the moving bus and the all caught me crying. They were all late for school but they refused to go until we were gone. They told me not to cry and they smiled and I laughed. We blew kisses. Then Auntie came up and told me not to be sad because this is the way life is. I love that woman. And I love my brothers.

It was SO hard to leave, but I knew that it was time for me to go. When I left this morning I had no idea what my plan would be for the rest of my time in Nepal, and not having a plan scared me. I wondered if I really should leave if I had no better thing waiting for me, but I have learned in Nepal that things happen the way they are supposed to happen. Indeed, already my plan is coming together.
In Kathmandu I learned that a friend of mine is headed to Bastipur tomorrow, a small Terai village that I was interested in visiting. I think I will be leaving to travel there in a few days, where I will be living with a village family and teaching at a private school. Until then, I will be working hard to upload my MANY photos and blog a bit more on my life-changing experience in Charikot.